Mourning lost April

I left the house at 7.30am to walk the 2-mile-road for another lecture in ‘psychosis and recovery’ at the University. As usual, I was concentrating in my inner world, my thoughts consuming my attention, planning my day and ruminating through the tasks I still have to complete before the end of the week. Unfortunately, we are not given more time in life for us to do the things we want or need, so we have to do our best with the 24h-day we get.

As I walked past the built up roads, with my soya latter in hand (I made this one at home with a beautiful Nespresso machine and a used paper coffee cup from Greggs that I had acquired the day before) I nearly missed people like me also getting ready to go with their busy lives. The city awakens up really early around these areas. Taxis queuing to take people to their destinations, some shops preparing to open their doors to the first customers, and other shops making their first business for the day.

Then the eerie cry of a passing seagull brought me back to reality. Being near the sea this often happens even at early hours of dawn, like marine cockerels telling the world the sun will be rising soon and it is time to wake up. Nonetheless, this almost apocalyptic sound nearly doesn’t match the beautiful creature that produces it. Spread wings, hovering just above us, but far enough so they can reign the sky and observe what is happening down below, perhaps hoping for scraps of food left over by us, earthly creatures. This sharp cry echoed the sorrow in my heart, with the recent news of the disappearance of a 5-year-old girl, named April Jones, and for all other children and adults that have been taken before her, and that may be taken after, by unscrupulous people who have no respect for life and humanity.

April disappeared a few days ago, in a small Welsh village, part of the United Kingdom. Unfortunately, many children are in similar circumstances, and statistics say that around 500 children disappear every year, and many are never found. It is unbelievable in how things like this can happen, as if the world itself had a whole that consumes people down, or if the sky that another dimension that warps people to the unknown. With so much technology invented by humans, we never managed to create one that actually traces people up, but perhaps these are my high hopes from movies like ‘CSI’, ‘Without a trace’ or ‘Taken’, where the ‘good guys’ always find the disappeared ones and always give a good crap of a fight to the ‘bad guys’.

This is an unfair world, we all know that. The cycle of life seems to have been broken somehow. Apart from this being a depressing entry of a blog, I think I mourn for April to be found so that her family can close this awful chapter in their life. While the road is not going to be easy, independently in what circumstances she is found, the family will need a lot of support. Similarly, all the families of children and adults who disappeared in similar situations also need support during this darkened time, as stories like this one always bring up bad memories, traumas, and reminiscence of their unmourned losses.

I have never been in a similar situation, apart from losing someone through ‘natural’ death, as many of us have. I don’t know how I would cope with losing someone through abduction or kidnapping, I am not sure how I would deal with it, and I am not sure how I would react towards life itself. I believe that at this time April, her family, and all the other children and adults, and their families who have been taken need our thoughts. They don’t need to be criticised or blamed, because they are doing that themselves already. Guilt and shame will probably rule their life for a long time and their hearts will cry just like seagulls shout from above, perhaps still trying to find their loved ones, or for a sign from heaven that they are okay despite being in another plane of existence.

At the moment I can only give April and her family, and all other people in similar circumstances, my deepest sentiments and condolences. I hope that the outcome is better than what police is predicting, but for now I leave you with this thought and a photo of a rainbow, which I took from my Kitchen window in April 2010. The rainbow appears to be emanating from the top of this church as if a message of remembrance for those lost to us. For me this represents hope for April, wherever you may be, in your memory and in your safe return.

This photo is presented as it was taken and has not been altered in any way.

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